Draconian Marshmallow Poink
Tumblr: "Guys, we need to get rid of the idea that being cis and heterosexual is 'the standard'".
12 year olds on tumblr: "lol, cichet ppl r so boring XD"

slimedeath:

girijasu:

slimedeath:

demiflower:

being a cishet looks boring why do people do that

Idk maybe bc sexuality/gender isnt based on how cool or interesting an individual wants to look

yeah but why be boring when u can be awesome and not cishet

yeah but why treat lgbt+ identities like some trendy fashion accessory that ppl can just slap on to look cool when u could not act like a complete idiot

So tumblr FINALLY fucking tells you when someone answers your ask

ratfantasia:

catbountry:

Thanks Shal for showing me this.
I could use a laugh about now.

I want to fuck you

it’s happened

ratfantasia:

catbountry:

Thanks Shal for showing me this.

I could use a laugh about now.

I want to fuck you

it’s happened

hobbit-queen:

doctordelmont:

zooophagous:

myblackeyeddemon:

bendragon-cumbersmaug:

mygearsarestartingtotremble:

cthulhupeelz:

veganelfprincess:

unverified-reality:

This x-ray shows the case of an unfortunate woman who happened to have a snake crawl into her vagina, slither through the fallopian tube, and out oast the ovary into her body cavity. It survived unknown for three days until the snake started eating her appendix.

OH MY GOD WHY
I AM GOING TO HAVE FUCKING NIGHTMARES FOREVER NOW
PLEASE KILL ME

OH DEAR GOD NONONONONO

How do we know she isn’t lying about it crawling up there…

She would definitely have felt it penetrating her cervix and your fallopian tubes are not large enough to accomodate a snake of that size without considerable discomfort if not intense pain.I’m calling bull on this one.

This is fake as shit. The cervix is not an opening like the vagina is. Do you know how small an IUD is? It’s a little bit more than a toothpick. You know how much one hurts to get inserted? It’s like a knife because it’s stretching something that’s not meant to be stretched at rest.
A snake /could/ poke its head in a vagina, maybe, but snakes are stupid squishy plops who don’t do a lot of moving and while they like warm things they don’t like fucking around with something big enough to eat them.
So we’re talking about I guess a rabies infested snake, or a snake mutant, or a zombie snake with no concern for self preservation or reason that would 1) move more than it needs to 2) willingly enter an orifice in a body when no record of such behaviour has ever been documented before and it goes against their instincts.
So this zombie snake gets inside, and then… Turns into mist? Or something? To get through a hole smaller than a pin without the woman feeling it.
Our vampire snake proceeds to mist through tubes thinner than straws, anesthetising her all the way, and coils safely in her abdomen.
And because it’s a vampire snake it DOESN’T BREATHE FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS BUT IS STILL ALIVE APPARENTLY.
EVERYTHING ELSE ASIDE, SNAKES NEED TO BREATHE.
ARE WE GOING BACK TO THE 1850’S WHERE WE THINK UTERUSES EXIST IN OPEN VOIDS AND RICOCHET AROUND SOMETIMES BECAUSE I CAN’T THINK OF ANY OTHER WAY A SNAKE COULD BREATHE.
This makes me want to fake really ridiculous stories like “one time a hamster chewed up from the anus and lived in a guy’s lung unknown”

Snakes cannot contract rabies, but this post IS fake as shit. A snake won’t eat an appendix, and believe it or not it’s actually pretty hard to get INTO the uterus considering how tight it is on the inside, not to mention how incredibly painful it would be to have something forcing its way into the cervix like that (You’d definitely notice) There’d be no reason for a snake to cram itself in there like that for any reason, there’d be no way a person wouldn’t notice this happening without heavy anesthesia, and there’s no way a snake could fully uncurl inside the abdominal cavity like that. This snake would be a barely identifiable lump, smashed up into a ball by the powerful muscles of the uterus.
In short: Someone fooled y’all dumb motherfuckers with a body horror post and you bought it. I bet you think spiders can lay eggs inside your skin too.
What’s really frightening is that people believe this stupid shit. I mean come on it’s not even a GOOD photoshop.

People were actually stupid enough to believe this?  What, they didn’t question anything when it implied you could reach the appendix from the fallopian tubes?  Do these dipshits not even know what an appendix looks like?  Even Doctor Zoidberg has better understanding of human anatomy and would identify this as an obvious shock-value trick to sucker stupid people (to their credit: it worked).  If anyone really is this stupid when it comes to basic biology, then I hope a gulper eel flies up and eats your gonads from their throats, because that’s how THAT works, apparently.

I had a massive feeling something was WAY off about the story, namely on HOW the snake lived and ate while it was still in the vagina because even I KNOW that’s not how our anatomy works.
Also, some fucked up women DO put snakes in their vaginas but NEVER let them go into the baby maker (please for the love of fuck, do NOT google search it).

Also I’m pretty sure the vaginal cavity doesn’t occupy that large of a space in the body?

hobbit-queen:

doctordelmont:

zooophagous:

myblackeyeddemon:

bendragon-cumbersmaug:

mygearsarestartingtotremble:

cthulhupeelz:

veganelfprincess:

unverified-reality:

This x-ray shows the case of an unfortunate woman who happened to have a snake crawl into her vagina, slither through the fallopian tube, and out oast the ovary into her body cavity. It survived unknown for three days until the snake started eating her appendix.

OH MY GOD WHY

I AM GOING TO HAVE FUCKING NIGHTMARES FOREVER NOW

PLEASE KILL ME

OH DEAR GOD NO
NONONONO

How do we know she isn’t lying about it crawling up there…

She would definitely have felt it penetrating her cervix and your fallopian tubes are not large enough to accomodate a snake of that size without considerable discomfort if not intense pain.

I’m calling bull on this one.

This is fake as shit. The cervix is not an opening like the vagina is. Do you know how small an IUD is? It’s a little bit more than a toothpick. You know how much one hurts to get inserted? It’s like a knife because it’s stretching something that’s not meant to be stretched at rest.

A snake /could/ poke its head in a vagina, maybe, but snakes are stupid squishy plops who don’t do a lot of moving and while they like warm things they don’t like fucking around with something big enough to eat them.

So we’re talking about I guess a rabies infested snake, or a snake mutant, or a zombie snake with no concern for self preservation or reason that would 1) move more than it needs to 2) willingly enter an orifice in a body when no record of such behaviour has ever been documented before and it goes against their instincts.

So this zombie snake gets inside, and then… Turns into mist? Or something? To get through a hole smaller than a pin without the woman feeling it.

Our vampire snake proceeds to mist through tubes thinner than straws, anesthetising her all the way, and coils safely in her abdomen.

And because it’s a vampire snake it DOESN’T BREATHE FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS BUT IS STILL ALIVE APPARENTLY.

EVERYTHING ELSE ASIDE, SNAKES NEED TO BREATHE.

ARE WE GOING BACK TO THE 1850’S WHERE WE THINK UTERUSES EXIST IN OPEN VOIDS AND RICOCHET AROUND SOMETIMES BECAUSE I CAN’T THINK OF ANY OTHER WAY A SNAKE COULD BREATHE.


This makes me want to fake really ridiculous stories like “one time a hamster chewed up from the anus and lived in a guy’s lung unknown”

Snakes cannot contract rabies, but this post IS fake as shit. A snake won’t eat an appendix, and believe it or not it’s actually pretty hard to get INTO the uterus considering how tight it is on the inside, not to mention how incredibly painful it would be to have something forcing its way into the cervix like that (You’d definitely notice) There’d be no reason for a snake to cram itself in there like that for any reason, there’d be no way a person wouldn’t notice this happening without heavy anesthesia, and there’s no way a snake could fully uncurl inside the abdominal cavity like that. This snake would be a barely identifiable lump, smashed up into a ball by the powerful muscles of the uterus.

In short: Someone fooled y’all dumb motherfuckers with a body horror post and you bought it. I bet you think spiders can lay eggs inside your skin too.

What’s really frightening is that people believe this stupid shit. I mean come on it’s not even a GOOD photoshop.

People were actually stupid enough to believe this?  What, they didn’t question anything when it implied you could reach the appendix from the fallopian tubes?  Do these dipshits not even know what an appendix looks like?  Even Doctor Zoidberg has better understanding of human anatomy and would identify this as an obvious shock-value trick to sucker stupid people (to their credit: it worked).  If anyone really is this stupid when it comes to basic biology, then I hope a gulper eel flies up and eats your gonads from their throats, because that’s how THAT works, apparently.

I had a massive feeling something was WAY off about the story, namely on HOW the snake lived and ate while it was still in the vagina because even I KNOW that’s not how our anatomy works.

Also, some fucked up women DO put snakes in their vaginas but NEVER let them go into the baby maker (please for the love of fuck, do NOT google search it).

Also I’m pretty sure the vaginal cavity doesn’t occupy that large of a space in the body?

bought two bigass bags of candy corn
It’s a good day to die

ucresearch:

The Slingjaw Wrasse
Peter Wainwright is a fish biologist at UC Davis and studies the many ways fish eat their food.  His lab has a YouTube page that shows an array of fish eating their prey. In the animation above the slingjaw wrasse essentially creates a suction tube to eat small fish by unhinging its jaw.

noot noot

ucresearch:

The Slingjaw Wrasse

Peter Wainwright is a fish biologist at UC Davis and studies the many ways fish eat their food.  His lab has a YouTube page that shows an array of fish eating their prey. In the animation above the slingjaw wrasse essentially creates a suction tube to eat small fish by unhinging its jaw.

noot noot

chubbypixel:

IS THAT SUZY HOLY SHIT

chubbypixel:

IS THAT SUZY HOLY SHIT

chubbypixel:

fanmade-smash:

The Big 8 over the years.

I don’t see LUIGI

Or captain falcon or ness, what the hell

chubbypixel:

fanmade-smash:

The Big 8 over the years.

I don’t see LUIGI

Or captain falcon or ness, what the hell